Perfectly Heterosexual
by Zoldronica
Summary: Kid Radd fanfiction! Gnarl and Kobayashi continue assuring their friends and each other that they're no more than friends, despite their shared living quarters. However, they're horrible liars... And their friends might not be all that friendly after all.


It was a day which started like any other, for Gnarl and Kobayashi.

After the final battle against the Seer, everyone had started up a new town, practically identical to Hopetown, minus the tyrannical rule of the Moderators. Sheena and Radd finally managed to share their long-awaited kiss, and once they'd moved in together, Bogey managed to keep an apartment of his own without sharing it. Itty Bitty and the nurse NPC got a place of their own, although most of their time was spent working the diner. Julie's obsession with Radd eventually subsided, and Dr. Amp... Well, he just kept on inventing horribly dangerous appliances.

Kobayashi and Gnarl, declaring that they didn't really have enough money to get separate apartments, moved in together in a 'perfectly heterosexual way'. In fact, money was their excuse for the fact that they shared a king-sized bed in a 'perfectly heterosexual way', shared showers (keeping the water bill low) in a 'perfectly heterosexual way', and shared a car in a 'perfectly heterosexual way'. When asked why they felt the need to assure that their sharing a car was heterosexual, since it generally didn't imply that they weren't, they always replied, "Because we, uh, totally love the ladies. ...In a perfectly heterosexual way."

As was previously stated, it was a day which started like any other, for Gnarl and Kobayashi. Gnarl got out of bed, trying his hardest not to wake his perfectly heterosexual friend, and got dressed, deciding he'd stop by and visit his brother before going to work.

"Hey Radd!" he called, knocking on the door of his brother's apartment, which was only a few doors down from his own. "It's your perfectly heterosexual brother! Open up!"

"Yeeeeaaaah... I'd forgotten I had any heterosexual brothers, sheesh," mumbled Radd as he opened the door. "You musta just woken up the entire complex, but Sheena's still asleep at least. Come on in, want some coffee?"

"Sure thing! You know, I still have to try and kill you again one of these days."

"I thought I'd proven that that'll never be possible!"

"I can still dream, can't I? After all, I can transform into the Gnarlborg 2000!"

Radd rolled his eyes. "Riiiiiight. And we all know how much that helps you. Even your boyfriend could hit you in that form, not that he'd want you to be in that form in the first place. Being bottomless wouldn't be very useful..."

Gnarl laughed. "Oh, come on, he's got those ninja stars that appear directly at their target. He could theoretically hit anything, so that's not fair. And that last joke was just a bit below the belt." Suddenly, his eyes narrowed. "Hey wait, I don't have a boyfriend. I'm perfectly heterosexual. Just what were you insinuating, there?"

"If you didn't have a boyfriend, you wouldn't have started talking about ninja stars so quickly... But that's besides the point. Want any cream?"

Gnarl raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were going to change the subject?"

"...I did!"

"Then what was your last question?"

"...Would you like any cream? Er, for your coffee?" Radd rephrased his previous question, raising an eyebrow in bewilderment.

"Oh. Oh! Right, right... No thanks, but I'd like some sugar." Gnarl rubbed the back of his neck. "But seriously, brother. I don't have a boyfriend, or anything. What would make you think that? I'm perfectly heterosexual!"

"Well for one thing, when every other sentence of yours is something along the lines of 'I'm perfectly heterosexual,' it's hard to believe you."

"Oh look at the time! I feel the urge to do some accounting! I've got to get to work now, see you later bro!" Gnarl quickly finished his coffee and dashed out of the apartment.

Sheena peeked her head into the kitchen and smiled. "Hey, Radd? I don't think he's a very good liar."

"What are you talking about? He's a _perfectly heterosexual_ liar. ...Who's not very good at lying.


End file.
